The Queen’s (Somewhat Fractured) English

The Queen’s (Somewhat Fractured) English

Among the many gifts Baseball has bestowed upon us are two notable philosophers, Casey Stengel and Yogi Berra.  Both have left a legacy of wonderful aphorisms, which often appear to be contradictory, but somehow most make sense.  You judge.

Casey:
  • Most games are lost, not won.
  • Don’t cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
  • There are three things you can do in a baseball game.  You can win, or you can lose, or it can rain.
  • If we’re going to win the pennant, we’ve got to start thinking we’re not as good as we think we are.
  • Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.
  • The team has come along slow but fast.
  • Two hundred million Americans, and there ain’t two good catchers among ’em.
  • All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
  • There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.
  • Never make predictions, especially about the future.Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player.  It’s staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
Yogi:
  • Nobody goes there anymore.  It’s too crowded.
  • Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
  • Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true.
  • The future ain’t what it used to be.
  • If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
  • Baseball is ninety percent mental, and the other half is physical.
  • It gets late early out there.
  • I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.
  • If the world was perfect, it wouldn’t be.